Phone Sex with Erin Michaels

When you venture into the world of internet dating, uh.. keep in mind that people are ACTUALLY going to read your ads and yes.. they are going to mock them if they are truly terrible.   I recently was introduced to the Why Women Hate Men blog (WWHM for short) definitely NWS and I cannot BELIEVE how unbelievably BAD some of these ads are.  Well ok yes I can… because they are being mocked, not by a woman mind you - the author of the blog is male.  Its funny as hell and a good break in the middle of the day… remember.. THINK before you WRITE

Can you feel it? Tension Building. Dust in the air…. the wind carries the scent of sweat and horseflesh… mmmmm man that is so damn hot.  Just 2 weeks away- That’s right  Cheyenne Frontier Days is just around the corner.  Cowboys, Sweat, Stock and Whiskey… what more could you ask for?   It’s going to be bittersweet for me this year, it will be my last CFD for a while since I have plans to move in the spring.. so I am going to do it up right.   None of the concerts really hold an interest for me this year.

Man I am tired today.. for some reason I am sleeping like crap and can’t seem to shut my brain down at night.  Probably has something to do with the notebook packed with design projects that I need to get cracking on.  In addition to the phone sex sites I have on my list to do, I have a number of other projects I am working on for people that I have to get my ass busy on before they form a lynch mob.  Not to mention work on My OWN damn sites LOL  I am gonna expand this a little I think..include some more stuff to give you maybe a better feel about who I am.  You will notice that I have added a new page to my site as well.  Its just a taste of what you can expect on a phone sex call with me.  Well not exactly.. cuz I can be a moody bitch and I change it up to suit my moods a lot but you will get the gist of how I am as a lover.  I don’t know that anyone can describe themselves as a partner to a T.. I mean if you could.. wouldn’t that make you damn boring?  Like here is my script… and this is what I do.  Ugh.  Christ.  I would shoot myself LOL

Ok I am off ta work… well on to work.  Fuck I will be around working on web stuff.  Wouldn’t you rather I be working on you?

Erin

Tags: phone sex, webdesign

Think of it as an adult version on Where’s Waldo…. yes that was my life over the last 8 days.  Ok not really.. but adult wheres waldo could be a whole lotta fun I am thinking now.  Let me break it down for you.

Tuesday, July 1st 330 pm

Was working on a website and suddenly.. out of nowhere, the blue screen of death appears. Crap.  Ok wtf is going on.  System wont reboot.. shit. Ok. Well if I hurry I can get to town and get it into the shop before they close.  Call Howard and say no phone sex for me for a couple hours, gotta go to town.  Get clothes on.  Take it to the shop, do some groveling in hopes I can get it back the next day since I uh DON’T have a laptop or back up computer.   Go home.  Feed stock.  Take a cold shower cuz its fuckin hot.  Make a big damn gin and tonic and eat garlic chicken pizza from Papa Murphys while vegging out in front of the TV, at least Hells Kitchen is on.

Wednesday July 2nd

Ok its errand day, walmart, bank, feed store, grocery store blah blah.  Call to check on my computer, tell them Im in town till about 3 (hint)  Cool they will call me.  Get most every thing done, go to Chilis for The BURGER.  Man.. sidebar here, that damn burger is soooo Yummy.  Jalapenos, bacon… mmm crap now I am hungry… ok… Phone rings.  Computer guy.  Let me paraphrase here.  You are fucked, 10 hours of backing up to do.  Shit.. not gonna be done today huh?  Ok please.. Im beggin.. I need it BEFORE the long weekend.. no promises but he will try.   Go home, put away groceries, haul feed out to the garage, feed stock, work with the babies a bit, go in the house.  Look around.  Hmmm.  What the hell am I gonna do NOW.  Wander around a bit.   Go look at the spot my computer is supposed to be. *sigh*  Kinda dust it out.  Look around some more. Call Howard to sign me in, at least I can do phone sex to distract me. Get Nekkid, Make a big ass drink.   More Vegging in front of the TV.

Thursday  July 3rd

Get up.. do morning chores.  Wander around.  Call the computer guy.  Nope, still fucked but he will let me know by 4 if its done.  Whine some more.  Ok.  Look around the house.  Might as well put my time between calls to good use.  Change the sheets, do laundry, scrub floors, clean bathrooms… don’t dust cuz I hate dusting… but the house is back in order.   Break out a new notepad.  Start making lists of things I need to do when my computer gets back.  Fill up 1/4 of the notebook.  Wander around.  Too early to start drinking (especially since I just KNOW I have to go pick up my computer)  Flip through daytime TV How do people occupy themselves during the day?  Jesus.  Take a nap, Wake up.  Its only 2 and now I am all headachy from the nap *grumble* 3:15  the phone rings.  I pounce on it like its the last piece of chocolate in Wyoming.  Computer guy. Listening, while making myself a big ass drink uh huh.  Nope.  Still fucked but LESS fucked than I was before.  Closed till Monday. ok… Hang up… sit on the couch with my head in my hands for a while.  Get up..Look around.  Hotter than hell outside… supremely hot forecast. Yay.  Find the Twilight Zone Marathon and take more phone sex calls.

Friday  July 4th.

Drag myself out of bed and do chores.  Already blistering hot at 8 in the morning.  Scrub water tanks and fill them, clean the dog kennel, hose it down so the dirt is cooler for the dogs.  Apply mass quantities of fly spray all around.  Go back in the house because I am getting burnt.  Long cold shower.  More Twilight Zone.  Cant go watch fireworks cuz they are a fire hazard and the new morons next door are shooting off bottle rockets over the already bone dry waiting to burn pastures.  Animals not happy.  Erin now brain dead.

Saturday July 5th

Why me?  Stupid girl should have bought a laptop.  Over half the notebook is now full of notes.  Abundant Sunshine, HOT is what the forecast says.  Uh.  no shit. 4pm I am completely stir crazy.  Go hang out next door,  bitch about the neighbors on the other side.  Storm stirs up, refreshing and cool.  Starts pouring, thunder and lightning.   Go home and go out and stand in the rain and hail.  Do chores, come in the house soaked to the skin.  Strip.  Flop down on the couch for bad Sci Fi and more phone sex.

Sunday  July 6th.

Seriously.  What the HELL do people DO without a computer?  Read a book.  Started a new one.  Decide I am going to teach myself how to use this damn knitting board I just HAD to have.   Cant find the directions.  Cant print them off.  Sad now.  Organize my office.   Start throwing stuff away.  Bored now.

Monday  July 7th.

Yay.. its GOT to be done today…Good mood all day.  Phone rings at 2.  Tomorrow.  Promises. Bang my head on the wall.  Have to drive to town ANYWAY to pay rent.   Come home.   Play with the babies. Fall asleep on the couch all slug like.

Tuesday  July 8th.

I just dont wanna talk about it

Wednesday July 9th

Leave the house before anyone has the chance to call and give me bad news.  Run errands.  Show up at the computer place.  ITS DONE!!!   Load it in the truck before they change their mind.  Bring it home.  Spend the rest of the day figuring out where all my crap is.

There you have it.   Where I have been.  I am now saving for a laptop for my birthday in October.  I only need 850 bucks for a custom one.  I should be saving for my move.  But… I gotta have a back up if I am going to run a business or three.

First thing I did this morning?  Caught up on my Red State Update and satisfied my withdrawl cravings.  Ya know they have a CD coming out soon.  I may just have to buy it.  Never can tell.

So I am back.. didja miss me?  Damn well better have LOL

Come play!

Erin

Tags: computer repair, phone sex, red state update, twilight zone

I couldn’t resist…

In a small Midwestern town, two gays died of AIDS. The mortician was afraid of catching the disease from the corpse, so he refused to prepare the bodies for burial.

So, finally, in desperation, the hospital called on the local taxidermist. He said, “Sure, bring ‘em on over, I’ll take care of ‘em.”

So an ambulance driver carts the bodies off to the taxidermists shop. When he arrives, the taxidermist asks the ambulance driver “Do you want them mounted?” to which the driver replies “Nah, just holding hands…….”

hehe

Now call and fuck me dammit I made you laugh….

What is up with skipping spring? LOL  I guess since its almost July its about time that summer arrived, but man.. one week its sweatshirts and the next its boiling.  Seriously weird.

Well from what I saw yesterday, my decision that I was so worried about seems to have been the right one.  One that also is giving me additional knowledge in case I run into this situation again as well, so all is well at the moment in that arena.

Its hot, and allergies are hitting with a force, I swear I never had them before I moved here. Can you say Claritin?  I have already sunburned the crap outta myself and have decided to switch to early morning and evening play outside time to avoid the mega heat as much as I can.  Im also going through the sort and dump process in order to get ready to really move in the spring.  I think with the long winter and everything time and budget just got away from me so Im going to be here for another year while I regroup, Im hoping to be moved by the end of April.

Ok does anyone watch Property Ladder?  Im addicted.  Do you notice the morons who ignore Kristin always get screwed?  You would think that they uh.. watch the show before they are on it wouldnt you?  Im addicted to flipping and one day I will take a crack at it myself.  I suppose I should get my own house first though dontcha think? LOL

Yeah yeah Im being random, coffee doesnt seem to be doing the trick this morning, the dogs were restless last night and kept me up most of it so I might try and catch a nap.  We have been seeing alot more fox and coyotes this year so Im sure thats why they were edgy, something was probably skulking around.  Better than the big damn bullsnake they found last week.  I swear.. if there is trouble.. they are into it.

Ok Im gonna go chill.. why dont you take some time out on a lazy Sunday for a phone sex call?

OK I just added a new link under hot links.  Hmmm wait aren’t hot links sausages?   Never mind.  Anyway.. You guys have GOT to check out the Red State Update!   Its my new favorite site LOL  I just love those guys

Well everything should be back to quasi normal and settling down again here over the next few days.   I was up at oh 4 am yesterday and on my way to Denver after 2 hours of sleep.  Spent the day in Denver, doing brunch, dropping off people at DIA, and running a few errands. 

I picked up a little ceasars 5 buck pizza on my way through town and then got home around 6.  Fed stock came inside to check email and see who missed me and damn near fell asleep chewing on a piece of pizza LOL   So I laid down about 7 thinking I would crash for an hour then get up and log in for some hot phone sex and well I woke up about a half hour ago LOL  So much for play time with Erin last night LMAO  - One lesson I TOTALLY learned yesterday.  Never EVER get a latte from McDonalds.. no matter how damn tired you are.  1/2 syrup only a 1/2 cup of coffee and a splash of cream.  It not only wasn’t FULL… It was a disgusting sweet mess for over 3 bucks.  Gimmie Starbucks any day of the week over that crap.  Ugh.  Yet another reason I don’t usually eat there LOL

OMG OMG  I just LOVE my secret admirer who sent me a gift card from American Express!!!! My $100  was well spent I tell you.  I bought the Jillan Michaels DVD set from my wish list, 2 movies off my movie list ( and I’m gonna add one more today since I still have a little left on the card) and the KICK ass horse clippers that were on my wish list as well,  which I am hoping are strong enough to do the job.  With clippers its kinda tricky, you really do have to almost test them out before you buy them, but the reviews were decent and they convert to cordless which is a huge plus when working with babies.  Thank you honey.. you are the BEST.

Ok since its 9 am and I haven’t even fed animals yet I need to get my ass in gear.  Check for me on Bay City in about an hour/ hour and a half.. wet from the shower, nekkid as a jaybird and ready to be fucked *grin*   Talk to you soon!

Erin

Tags: American Express, erin michaels, phone sex

I just found out no stimulus check for me.  Crap.  So much for paying a couple bills down.  Ah well, life goes on, I probably would have dumped the whole thing on hay anyway.   Im guessing I will just have to simulate myself this year. Damn the luck *grin*

So its a beautiful day in Wyoming  nice and warm with a bit of a breeze.. so I am gonna go outside and play … look for me in a bit… cuz I am gonna want something to nibble on lol

Well seriously I think I have become far too antisocial here in my own little world, because I just get annoyed over the stupidest crap these days.  I need to get out more  and interact with humans me thinks LOL  Anyway I will have company for another week.. but I have made it pretty clear I need my play time or else Erin gets to be a cranky ass girl really quickly… LOL  So expect me to be around more this week for some dirty fun… you need it.. and god knows I need it

Cum and get me

Well its a better day today, I am sitting comfortable with my decision and am playing the wait and see game.   I am now going to be HERE in my sparkly clean house tomorrow and Monday… and off to Denver on Tuesday morning.

In the meantime… I am fresh from the shower and ready to unload some energy.. are you game?